Love Fades, Mine Didn't
by XxMelwardxX
Summary: Those four words, those actions and that love now caused Rose her life. After a terrifying and death threat she had to flea the wards and safety of court and her friends; and into the real world where darkness really took it's hold. After 4 years of not tracking Rose down; a lead on her came. Dimitri was first to go, will he find her, help her? Will love blossom for them again?
1. Chapter 1: Is she really gone?

Chapter 1: Is she really gone?

 **Hello! I know I discontinued the other fanfiction, but there were just too many fic's with the same idea.** **So** **here's my spin on the old "Love fades, Mine had" but what's going to come of our two love birds, 4 years later after rose left. Will simple eye contact let they're love blossom?**

 **-Weekly/every chapter I will have songs I replayed/are meant to go with this chapter and this week's song is…**

 _ **My Immortal; Evanescence**_

"… _These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase. When you'd cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have… All of me"_ __

 **RPOV:**

I punched his face, before I moved on to trying to stake him. But he kicked me first-but not before I blocked him with my foot and during that one moment of surprise; I staked him.

I sagged and sighed in relief. I had been walking past the mall boarders, on my way to my apartment, until three Strigoi jumped me but thankfully I caught them. I then went to run; not wanting to be caught by anymore and stopped.

After about two minutes, I arrived in the front of my house; I then walked in and sank onto my closing my eyes. God was I tired. I had multiple strigoi fights today-as I had tracked a cave near court with Strigoi hiding-and wanted nothing more but to sleep.

I then, got up and drew in a deep breath, clearing my unwanted dark feelings. Two days. In two day, I will be 23 years old. My unsettling feelings have been arising so often; it was a routine. Breath in, breathe out, watch friends and calm down. Easy, right?

My darkness has become so bad and consuming its all I think about. I think about the dark. I think about sometimes killing people- or sometimes wanting to be killed. I had a constant cloud over my head and a empty heart of where everyone once was. I missed everyone to this day; lissa, Dimitri, and god even Christian.

I can't feel fully into the bond anymore. Like my darkness is numbing it. I feel Lissa is alive; but no thoughts. It hurts. What hurt more though, is they stopped. They stopped looking for me. Sure, I made sure my existence wasn't known… but I _had_ to. To protect us, me and lissa. I did this for her. I will never regret that. But what I do regret is never telling anyone the truth…

So, over the last 4 years I had made myself busy… I was thing most feared, the one among strigoi that was feared. But in that, I only increased my darkness and sadness.

 **DPOV:**  
March 21. In two more days, it would mark her birthday. Would mark the birth of someone so very special to me, and many more have lost. Someone so truly beautiful in and out, that everyone let slip away... and now she was gone.

It had been harder and harder to not think about her. Just walking through the court's yards, or the guest housing, even just passing by the Queens station, all reminded him of _her._ No. Not her, _Rose._ And I felt my heartbreak every time. 

No one had seen or heard from her in 4 years. She was believed to be dead. Rose. 'She' has a name. After a year of searching and dead ends the princess stopped, everyone just kind of gave up and assumed she was dead. I mourned her, heck, I still am. Everyone was discouraged to go on; and everyone mourned in they're own way. Lissa's way was to ignore and keep herself busy; and that's exactly what she did. For me, I never found a way, I just always dwelled on the memories… _her._

I missed the light that followed her personality, I miss her dark brown wavy hair, her smile, god, even the nickname "comrade" I would do _anything_ to hear those words come out of her mouth again. Everyone took her gone hard. Her mother even, everybody. Vasilissa, Eddie, even Christian. We all missed her everyday but more so recently.

Lissa explained how she couldn't feel her anymore, can't feel when she's there. Usually, she could feel when rose was watching; a piece of her. All she feels is a dark oblivion. A Darkness of some sort. But me? I took it the hardest. If wasn't selfish. If I listened to her. Just maybe, just maybe, I'll have her here in my arms.

Although, I can't help but feel that she's alive. I don't believe she's dead, it's like I can feel her. Me and Rose have always had some kind of bond, though not magical, we could tell what one another were feeling. Soulmates.

"Guardian Belikov, please report to Hans front desk" The speaker awoke me from my thinking, I was currently watching the boarders of court while my charge-Tasha-was out with Christian. I took it upon myself to be her guardian after she practically begged me. I needed something to keep up my mind, distract me. So, I aggreged.

What Hans wanted, I didn't know, but I did have a feeling it wasn't good. Although I was considered one of the best guardians that doesn't mean my strigoi days were forgotten. I wasn't usually called in for important jobs other than my normal guardian duties.

When I arrived no more than 5 minutes later, I was greeted by the faces of Hans himself, but also Vasilissa, Eddie, Christian, Tasha and Janine. Huh? When did Janine get here- and why were four moroi in guardian HQ? I had no idea. God, this really must be serious. But where was Adrian? Probably out at some party, partying away all of his sorrows…

"Hello, guardian Belikov as you know we've called you in, and as you can see some others also" Hans explained nodding in the others directions before continuing "Now that we are all here, I'd like to get started" we all nodded in agreement.

"As you all are aware, Strigoi numbers have dropped miraculously, and the source is a town, about an hour or two away" Hans stated. It was true, Strigoi numbers over the years had been going down but this year the numbers and bodies hit an ultimate low, why? We weren't aware.

"And, this has raised suspicions as to... A danger" he concluded waiting for a response, and that's when Lissa spoke up "How can it be a danger? Isn't Strigoi numbers going down… A good thing?" she asked, and others nodded in agreement, "Well, we don't know for sure what's happening, are they doing for or against us? The motive? But we also can't leave a trail of Strigoi bodies around…" Hans stopped looking around "Which is why I'm sending you, Belikov, to follow the lead we've gotten" he concluded.

"Wait, me? Why? Not that I'm not honored…" Hans cut me off "That's what everyone else is here for, the reason for everyone here is…" Hans gulped "The lead, the photo, it's a certain someone who used to be trained by Belikov, a friend among everyone, and Dimitri, you caught her once you can again" Everyone gasped. Rose? Alive? Lead? I couldn't think properly, and I could tell everyone else was confused as well.

"Rose?" Lissa said while a sob shook through her body.

"Roza" I breathed, and then I heard Janine sniffle along with Christian. Rose was ok? I couldn't focus. My love, the one I was to be believed was gone, was alive? I could feel tears in my eyes threatening to come out.

"How?" Janine Hathaway asked, voice shaking. "Well, the most recent attack was at a mall an hour away at night, and Rose came out and took on 3 Strigoi, we were able to get pictures" Hans looked at me, then at everyone else "I asked you all here, tracking her down, is because I know how much she means to you all; and she has a bright future if she just came back, maybe even healthier" When he finished my eyes bulged.

"What do you mean Healthier?" I asked, concerned. "Well..." he handed me a picture from the mall. I took the picture quickly and studied it. Rose looked skinnier, but she looked exhausted-mentally exhausted- and drained. Sad. In a way, unhealthy.

My hands were shaking, looking at her. Her hair, her face, eyes, nose, lips. It was all too much, but I knew one thing was for sure; I was going to find her one way or another.

And when I do, I will apologize, apologize for how selfish and mean I was, to say those four words for her to run. Tell her how much I wish I just ran into her arms after being restored. How much I missed her.

"I accept" I stated. "What? Dimka, are you crazy?" Tasha asked in a voice coated in jealousy and all eyes turned to her, "You don't know what's happened, what if something happens? I'm also your charge so you can't leave me" Tasha said looking at me, shifting in her seat.

"Lady Ozera, I have approved him to go" Hans said with a mean hint in his voice, "Well, I guess that means I'm going" she said looking at me smiling "Can you believe it Dimka, we get to can hang out all day" she said smiling. Hans tried to protest but Tasha used her Royal power to overpower him.

"What about me?" Lissa asked, clearing up tears. "Lissa, I'd prefer you didn't go with all the Strigoi…" I told her, "I promise, if I see anything-at all- I'll tell you, don't worry" she was going to protest but decided against it seeing the look on my face.

And that's why no more than two hours later, I was in the backseat of a guardian van with Tasha trying to get my attention and Abe Mazur waiting impatiently-how he got to court so fast was beyond me- while another guardian was driving, I was looking at a picture of Rose. Oh, how much I would do to have her now, in my arms. Look at her, tell her how much I love her, because despite what I said to her in the church; all I wanted to tell her now was that my love never faded… not for one moment.

 **Did you like it? Ill try to post again next week, hope you like the idea and world, always looking for beta reader; have a beautiful day!**

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	2. Chapter 2: Friends with the Dark

**Chapter 2: Friend with the Dark**

 **Hey Guys! I'm so happy to hear so many people enjoyed my first chapter, and all the kind reviews and messages inspire me to write more, so… here I am!).**

 **{Edit: I fixed spacing; when transferred the spacing messed up:}** **I also wanted to say, I'm posting this chapter quickly just, so you guys get an idea of the world, and situation. I'll soon do weekly anyhow but I also wanted to mention, I know many characters are acting well... out of character but remember this is all because of Rose's disappearance and what rose has been through and everything confusing shall be revealed soon so…**

 **Today's song is… (I recommended playing these songs whilst reading the chapter)**

 _ **The**_ _ **night we met; Lord Huron**_

 _"I am not the only traveler. Who has not repaid his debt. I've been searching for a trail to follow. Again. Take me back, to the night we met… I had all then most you, some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met."_

 **DPOV:**

The car was driving at a slow pace; on the look out for Rose. We had been driving for an hour, looking for her. My head though, wasn't in it. All I could keep thinking and replaying is she is alive. I had just ignored the part of me that said she was alive. She was, I was right.

Not only was she alive; she was near. Looking out the car window-and nodding to Tasha's rambling-I imagined Rose here, running, sitting. My Roza, it had been so long since I referred her to that. Her name in Russian. But most importantly what I was thinking was, I wanted to know what made her run away.

Sure, what I said "Love Fades, Mine has" must've had something to do with it, but Lissa. Rose would never leave her, which is what made everything all that confusing.

"We're going to first meet the Alchemists at the mall and search through security footage and go from there" Guardian Lopez confirmed. I nodded in agreement. Alchemists. Alchemists were one of the very few humans who knew about the Moroi and Dhampir world. They make sure our world goes unknown if we don't mess with them, so there being an 'unknown' Strigoi number drop and bodies; they would get involved.

"We'll have so much fun!" Tasha squealed, "Right, Dimka!" she asked nudging my arm, awakening from my day dreams, "Huh?" I asked, confused. "I said, we can go around the city and have fun." She repeated. "Tasha, we are here to find and help Rose" I repeated, and I then saw a look of disgust/jealousy cross her face-but that only lasted a second before a fake grin plastered over her face- "Well, I know but we can have some fun too." She concluded, and I looked away, annoyed.

I'm not oblivious; I know how Tasha feels about me. I have known since the ski-lodge when she first asked me to be her guardian. But I couldn't leave Rose.

After her first Strigoi kill, seeing her childhood friend killed right in front of her, I couldn't. I then could see how Tasha disliked Rose, she was jealous. But I couldn't just, not be friends with Tasha, she was there for me when Ivan died, she was my childhood friend.

After about 20 minutes we reached the mall, and I could see what they were talking about. Blood; everywhere. That meant Rose was most likely hit, but also I could see Strigoi bodies sitting on the floor as Alchemists started to whip out their toxics and turn them into ash.

We were quickly led to the office area of the Mall-which was completely empty- and were met with a nice gentleman who avoided any contact but just showed us the footage.

In the footage, you can see Rose walking, her beautiful brown hair in braid and her pants ripped along with the flannel she was wearing, she also seemed to have some cuts. I could see her better through this angle of the camera than the picture we were given.

Out of nowhere, three Strigoi came out and jumped on her. She quickly took hold of the first Strigoi and kicked him in the stomach and then staked him-no hesitation, just the way I taught her-but the next one took that one time of distraction and punched Rose in face causing her nose to bleed but she quickly wiped it away and finished off the second and third. All within 3 minutes. That was impressive.

Typically, it was 5 minutes a Strigoi; she beat records. She was fast, well worked, and feared.

Seeing Rose in action and very much alive wanted me to be near her that much more, it didn't matter how tired I was. I would find her tonight.

So, that's why once finished, we moved outside and went to look around the boarder for any more bodies before heading off to our hotel, but not before we heard a yelp and what-or who-I saw caused my own yelp to get caught in my throat.

 **RPOV:** _"I've given up on you" he said, voice almost soft "Love fades, mine has" I stared at him in disbelief. No, no, no! He can't not after everything._

 _Tears welled up in my eyes, at that, I saw a flash of regret in his eyes, but I wouldn't know what was going to happen next… because I ran out of the church doors before everyone could see me cry._

 _I ran-fast-all the way across court trying to reach a place where no one would be. All the while thinking of what he said. 'Love fades, mine has' and 'I've given up on you' this couldn't be real._

 _No. He cant give up on me, not the only person who truly knows what I've been through. Not the only person who I had through everything. Not the only person who believed in me and helped me like no one else. He was the only person who ever believed and stood by me through everything. When Mason died, my darkness, he was my everything._

 _He couldn't just throw this away, after everything I went through to help him. To save him from the life of an undead creature. I broke my biggest enemy out of jail, I sacrificed my life. For him._ _By the time I found an area with no one around-it was a little forest in the back of court-I let the tears flow. My knees buckled under me and my body started shaking as tears fell threw my eyes. Through the bond I could feel Lissa annoyed with me; asking why I had bothered him. That caused even more tears to flow._ _I thought I was alone; until a shape stepped into my vision. And threw my blurred vision I could tell it was Tasha. But before I could react, my wrists were burning "Listen to me very carefully or else-"_

"Rose!" someone was banging on my door. Great. Why was anyone banging on my door this late at night? It was 12 a.m. for goodness sakes. I reluctantly got out of bed, my dream-no reality, me reliving my reality-still on my mind.

God, I could kill for a Ketchup Taco right now. As I open my door and see Sydney at my door with a worried expression on her face. She then pushed passed me and into my apartment.

"Go ahead, make yourself at home" I muttered sarcastically, and I shut my door. She rolled her eyes at my comment before takling "Look Rose, the court… they are here" my eyes bulged "What do you mean?" I asked, my stomach twisting "They have seen the difference in Strigoi numbers and bodies-so many I can't even help Rose-so they came to investigate" I nodded my head, taking everything in "Well, then I'll just stay under the radar, no big missions for now" I said, my worrying slipping away, that is until she stated "They know its you." How? "What! How?" I practically screamed.

No, no, No! This'll ruin everything. The Strigoi will get on their tail.

You see, ever since Russia, Sydney and me and have been keeping in touch, and shes helped me through this, giving me updates in the Alchemist system on Strigoi, and she informs me on Strigoi hideouts and I go there and help demolish them.

I have been working my body to point where I've killed 4 strigoi in 2 minutes.

If the Strigoi see the court, they'll know somethings up. Theres' already bands of them hiding out-around here-just waiting for a weak moment. "They saw the footage, the mall had Camera's" she continued "And I'm to report to the mall and show um... Dimitri Belikov the footage" she finished with a sigh not meeting my eyes.

Wait. No. Dimitri knows. He knows I'm here. "Oh god" I muttered, walking backwards and falling onto my couch. "I know Rose, I'm sorry" Sydney said, trying to comfort me.

"I mean, what if I leave?" I said meting her eyes, "If I pack a bag, and move my spot, another town or two over I can get away, right?" I asked. "I guess so." She said."I have to go, hurry if you're going to" she said just before she hugged me tightly and leaving my cheap, old apartment.

I didn't want anyone to know where I was because honestly, because of the threats I received. The compulsion I got put upon me.

I didn't want to take any change of Lissa getting hurt, and most importantly I was ashamed I ran. I'm Rosemarie Hathaway, after everything I've been through, I should've been able to handle it, fight it, and be Lissa's guardian. I should've been stronger, I shouldn't be allowed to walk this earth-

I stopped my dark thoughts. Breathe. Breathe. In and out. Phew. Ok. Lissa had been using spirit more and more and I could tell because my darkness lately was scary. What she was using it for-I don't know. But I had too much to do, no time for darkness. I quickly took out my old backpack from St. Vladimir's and started packing.

I threw in a pair of pajama shorts and a baggy T-shirt. I then packed a few pairs of jeans and a sweatshirt. I packed my other essentials like my toothbrush and perfume before changing into some leggings, a sweater, and some converse. I brushed out my hair and did a quick sweep of my apartment.

I stopped when I reached my bedside table and reached out to my picture of me and Lissa, when we were kids. Alberta had taken it. Life had been so easy then. I threw it in my bag before looking at my vanity.

There I had one of the only pictures I had of me and Dimitri. It was from Halloween, when I won the costume contest as an identity thief, he had dressed as a sheriff and we were able to snap a picture. I felt tears threaten to come down my checks, but I quickly swallowed them down and place that picture in my jeans pocket.

I zipped up my hoodie and put on backpack before heading out the door. It had been about 20 minutes since Sydneyhad left, so she was bound to still be at the mall. My only problem was that the fastest and cheapest way to the next town passed the mall. Great.

I walked for about 5 minutes until I reached the mall. I quickly heard voices, some discussing the matters of "Moroi Politics" Though I couldn't help it, I listened.

"Vasilissa is the next in line for the queen, no doubt." A man talked and another agreed. But once I heard them approaching, I ran. I then stopped again when I heard the voices of some more people.

"Yes, that was Rose" my name rolled of his tongue naturally. My name was being said from a man with a Russian accent.

The man I loved. The man I saved. Dimitri.

I had to get out of here. Now. But when I went to move, I tripped on a stick, and fell into a bush and yelepd. The sound quickly drew Dimitris head to look at me.

And that's when I met his eyes. When I looked at the eyes of the man I loved. I hadn't seen him in two years. But everything still looked the same. His shoulder-length brown hair, his warm brown eyes that I loved so much. I was studying him, and I can tell her was doing the same. A look of shock crossed his face but was quickly replaced with a look of relief-relief to see me alive.

It kind of reminded me of the night we met; where the simple eye-contact between us-the danger in my eyes and the relief in his of finding Lissa. But no doubt, that instant connection.

"Dimka where are you?" no, no, no. I had to go, but I couldn't because Tasha then stepped up from behind Dimitri.

Tasha and all her Ozera blue-eyed glory stepped out, looking as happy as ever-probably becase they hadn't found me... until now. A look of disgust and surprise crossed her features. I couldn't stay, no.

So, I ran. I ran and ran, all the while I heard someone chasing me, yelling "Roza, come back!" But I couldn't. No matter how much hearing him calling my name broke my heart. As long and Tasha was alive, so I didn't stop running.

But I also couldn't stop because I couldn't let my heart break and all my feelings, I kept locked away burst open.I knew I couldn't handle it. I couldn't face him right now.

So just before turning the corner I met his eyes and

mouthed 'I'm sorry' before I continued running into the darkness hoping I wouldn't be found…

 **How was this chapter? Long right? I hope you enjoyed, it kind of took me all day. I kept returning to it every hour or so, thinking of ways to introduce the new 'Adrian' and if I should this chapter and AU'ing spirit bound and bloodlines.**

 **But also, because I had so many ideas of how I would let them see each other but not communicate lol.**

 **Do you guys think I should add Point of Views of Janine,Abe, Sydney, Adrian, Lissa, or more?**

 **Anyhow, Ill update within the next few days. Have a beautiful day!**

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 **-Finally, VA fans, lets create a hashtag to post VA things on and show our love, to let Hollywood know we still want frostbite!**


	3. Chapter 3: What Remains?

**Chapter 3: What Remains?**

 **Hey Guys! Hope your having an amazzinngg day! I now have a schedule, every Monday I will upload during the week and if I'm not busy I may upload again randomly. Also, I know there might be some grammar errors and such but I'm sorry and I'm only human and can't fix this whilst having school work, but if you do want to be a beta reader you are welcome to ask or tell me what mistakes I may have…. Anyway, todays song is (and I recommend listening to while reading)**

 _ **Hard 2 Face reality : Poo bear**_

 _Sometimes it's hard to face reality, oh, oh  
Even though you might get mad at me, oh, oh  
Sometimes it's hard to face reality_

 _Don't be afraid to stand alone  
Don't be afraid to stand outside the door alone  
I know it's hard away from home  
And it ain't easy all alone  
Relationships over the phone  
Talkin' to your significant other all night long_

 **RPOV:**

My legs felt like rubber and my feet slammed harder onto the ground. I wanted to stop, take a drink of water from my bag but he wouldn't stop. Dimitri wouldn't stop. I've been running for about 5 minutes. I couldn't catch a break, every time I turn around I see him, and he keeps calling my name with such desperation my heart broke each time I heard my name _Roza_ roll off his tongue.

"Just go!" I scream out before taking a quick abrupt turn into a land of trees where I quickly climbed one. Then I was able to breathe. I soon heard panting and my name being called again and it took all of my control not to cry and jump into his arms.

Looking out from the tree, with the wind blowing on my face and looking out toward what's beneath me gave me a reassuring feeling. Everything will be alright. Unless… No.

"Rose, come out" he cries out again. I scrunch my eyes as tears fall. I wanted so badly to jump down this tree, go to him, and go back to court. But I knew that inside I couldn't. I could never endanger Lissa like that but I also couldn't go anywhere with my darkness.

Every time I kill a part of me swallows away. Kind of like every time Lissa uses spirit apart of her goes away. But after the amount of Strigoi I kill and have killed to protect court I'm drowning in darkness now. An endless whole of loneliness.

"Please-" I heard Dimitri whisper but he was cut off. "Dimka! Where are you? It's getting late and they're on their way" no. It couldn't be. The blue-eyed ozera with a scar crossing her face stepped out and went to Dimitri. They exchanged a few words and I heard my name being mentioned a few times "You can look tomorrow, now come on they'll be here soon" who? But before I could continue my rapid thoughts, I heard footsteps, getting farther and farther away. Phew.

I sighed in relief and jumped down from the tree getting ready to call Sydney, but not before I heard "Wait! My earing! I'll catch up" and then everything went dark.

" _Dimitri! NO!" I was about to run to him in the caves-that is until-my dream stopped. I could feel me being brought up into something else. I felt a pulse of warmth. That's when I knew it. A spirit dreams._

 _I almost ran into the arms of Adrian when everything formed. We were in my apartment-well old apartment now-and Adrian was sitting on one of my couches. Adrian was one of the normality's that I still had. After everything, he would visit me, and whilst doing that he knew I could never really be with him. And he accepted that._

 _He really accepted that when he met Sydney. And they soon fell in love. It's quite funny, actually. At first, Sydney hated "My kind" and now was friends with one. Heck, she was in love with one. And I will say, they were a cute couple._

" _Little Dhampir" he said with a smirk on his face. I smiled back and moved onto the single seat couch next to him. "How's palm springs?" I ask looking down at my hands. When did I fall asleep?_

" _Good. Eddie and we are working hard trying to find who's under cover" Adrian explained. Eddie. I felt my heart tighten. I missed him so much._

 _The queen had been attacked recently-she didn't die-which is why everyone is talking about elections. Last time I talked to Adrian he had mentioned that they had to go to Palm Springs because the Alchemists were having hacking problems, which led the government to think it tied hands with who attack the Queen. And who did that was unknown._

 _Adrian had offered to be sent out, I believe his exact words were "Little Dhampir, I cant give up an offer to go partying freely every day, now can I?" but his whole demeanor changed after he met Sydney._

" _Anyhow, Sydney filled me in earlier, where are you?" he asked, obviously pointing out the fact that I was indeed asleep. I honestly didn't know. Everything seems fuzzy. I remember running. Jumping. Then nothing._

 _Just then, Adrian began flickering and I can see everything outlined in black._

" _Your being woken up." Adrian said, answering my question._

" _When will I see you again?" I asked, sad to leave already_

" _I'm flying to court tomorrow, then have some things to attend to. But I'll see if I can make some time."_

 _I nodded getting ready to wake up, but not before I heard him say "And if not, Happy Birthday Little Dhampir"_

"Ahh" I abruptly sat up, awakening from the spirit dream. I looked at my surroundings and found myself in the woods like before. That's when everything came back-

"What the-?" I was interrupted when I looked up to see a bird drop his gunk on me. "Eww" I practically squealed, just making it before it hit me. Disgusting. That's what woke me up most likely.

"Uhh" I murmured getting up and stepping on a small piece of paper. I picked it up and unfolded it to fins a letter…

 _Dear Rose,_

 _If I find out, you so even utter a word to Dimitri_

 _You and Lissa are done._

 _I don't think I need to remind you of what happened._

 _Keep hidden_

 _Don't come out_

 _If you come to us, your done for_

 _-Tasha_

"No, no, no!" I whispered, trying to keep my voice down. She was here, she knocked me out. I felt my spine shudder at the thought of her touching me. She is a bad, bad women who shouldn't be walking this earth.

Well, she doesn't have to worry. No matter how much I would love to go back, I'm going to stay right here. Hoping this all blows over and the court stops looking. Because no matter what, I have to protect Lissa.

"Yes, same one?" I asked Sydney who I was currently on the phone with.

"Yes, there's a written article from about a week ago from a guardian spotting and I quote '5 strigoi out front at night and when daylight came, they rushed inside and you could hear hushed whispers'" she concluded

"Ok, I'll go tomorrow."

"No, Rose. It's too early."

"No, it isn't. You don't know what they'll do. I'm going and for now I'll find a hotel near" I said before we gathered details and ended the call.

Sydney had found a cave about 4 miles from court with Strigoi inside. After everything, I don't trust that they aren't doing anything.

I was quickly walking, making my way trying to find a near hotel to stay in tonight as my bag hunched over my bag causing me to be uncomfortable.

I was walking in silence until I found a little motel called "Home sweet Dreams" wow, how creative. I quickly walked inside and paid for my room while making my way up to my room.

The Motel looked old. Had wallpaper that looked as if belonged to a grandma and dark brown almost black wooden floors. The place also reeked of cleaning supplies but hey- you get what you get. I settled upstairs by changing my clothes and putting my hair into a ponytail. I was starving so I decided togo downstairs and get a snack from a vending machine I saw earlier.

"They should be here any second" I heard her voice call. No. No way did the one Motel I picked they're here. Well, that's just my luck, I thought. This is crazy. And who's coming?

I quickly hunched behind a desk and watched what was happening. Dimitri had his guardian mask on and was waiting, seeming unpleased. They didn't talk, everything was quiet until I saw a black truck pull up packed with Guardians.

"Lets go, Dimitri, you have to tell me everything" I knew that voice. I knew it anywhere. The voice I knew since kindergarten.

Once she walked into the Motel everything came rushing in. Her feelings, her thoughts, everything. I felt myself fighting going into her head. The bond was back. And I could tell she could tell to because she almost stumbled backwards.

"Lissa.." I breathed quietly all the while she repeated "Rose, it's her" and that's when I dashed upstairs to call Sydney and tell her my plan busted. Ouch.


	4. Chapter 4: The Pain of Loving Someone

**Chapter 4: The Pain of Loving Someone**

 **Hey guys, im back! I'm trying to work with my schedule, but everyone messaging me with 'update more,' and then saying how I have many grammatical errors just doesn't make sense, im not perfect, so deal with some errors or don't read… Also, probably the shortest chapter I've ever written but that's because of the holidays, so the next chapter in 2-19 will be back to it's long glory**

 **Hope your having an amazing Holiday Break and happy holidays I'll try to squeeze in one more chapter before 2019! Todays song is…**

 **Lovely; Billie Elish & Khalid**

 _ **Oh, I hope one day I'll make it out of here. Even if it takes all night or a hundred years. Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near. Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear.**_

 _ **Isn't it lovely, all alone. Heart made of glass, my mind of stone. Tear me to pieces, skin to bone. Hello, welcome home.**_

 **RPOV:**

"Ugh, god it hurts, please make it stop" I'm practically screaming with the pain shooting off in my head. It hurts. Not even bond hurts, it's as if everything is coming back.

When the bond "Disappeared" so did my shadow-kissed abilities. But now that it's been restored (I don't know what else to call it) It's all hitting me at once. Every ghost attacking, everything I've learned how to control bond-wise is gone. I kept getting pulled into her head and every time I came back out, everything started again.

"Rose, you have to calm down" Sydney was trying to soothe me. I had called her since the pain started and she came and helped me sneak out unnoticed. Where we were going now, beyond me.

"Ugh" I screamed again, ramming my fingers into my head. This was so much worse. Worse than the feeling on the plan to and back from Court, worse than when words were open. I couldn't feel my head. It was as if it just something connected to my body.

The feelings, images, and emotions shooting through my body and intertwined with my own was so unbearable. It was a familiar feeling, yes. But one with much pain.

But of course, with the bond back, so was my shadow-kissed "abilities". I felt ghosts blurring my vision and invading my mind. It was too hard to put my boundaries up, one because of the pain I was in, and because I didn't remember how. As if my muscle memory disappeared.

I kept slipping in and out of Lissa's head. …

 _"Rose!" Lissa exclaimed pacing around the room. I could feel her devastation, sadness, relief, but Stay calm' and then let out more shaky breaths._

 _"Why? Please just go-"_

 _'Rose!?' (_ _A/N: Bond Talk_ __ _, when Rose is talking, hers will be surround with " and when Lissa is talking it will be surrounded with ' I know, confusing, but the best I got_ _)  
"Hello?"_

 _'Omg, it is you, rose-'_

 _"Rose?" I heard someone calling me from my body but I couldn't leave, I needed to-_

"Ow!" I screamed jumping out of my seat and lissa's, someone just smacked me across my face. I turned to my right to see Sydney kneeling by the car door trying to get out.

"Thanks, was a shove just a little to subtle?" I asked practically growling as I can feel the tingling of where she had slapped me.

"Sorry"

" Yup, like I wasn't in enough pain already"

"Yeah, what was happening with you?" Sydney asked, curious.

"I- to be honest I don't know. All I know was I was in Lissa's head and talking to her"

Sydney nodded her head, taking everything in. "Rose, I know you never really told me everything of what happened but, why can't you go back? Just say hello and let them know you're ok?" Sydney rambled

"Sydney, I- for one I have problems I left unsolved but now this is a Queen case, they want the mystery of Strigoi gone. Sure, them missing is a good thing but it could be a Strigoi trap so they wont stop. And they can't know I'm here or else something worse may happen" I finished, out of breath.

She just nodded and got back into the car, "Well, I found your next mission." Sydney continued…

"Yeah? What's that?"

"Well, we got a report, from actually Dimitri Belikov" I internally groaned, of course "and at night there was Strigoi sightings by that mall more and more, and there's believed to be tunnels under, like that one year with the massacres" Sydney finished.

"Well, then it looks like I'm on my way to the tunnels" I sighed, closing my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, I saw a big sign that said 'Sunny-Smiles Motel' oh yes, because you typically go to Motels for good reasons.

When looking around the car I could see Sydney getting ready to get out and head in, sometimesI wondered why she even deals with me. I put her through so much but over time, we were there for each other. Besides, I'm fighting monsters for humans now too, I'm helping her just as much as she's helping me.

Looking at the GPS I could see we were about 5 or so minutes from the Mall which meant we were close to everyone. Lissa, Christian, _Dimitri,_ and… Tasha.

"Hey, you ready?" Sydney asked, and I nodded.

We both jumped out of the car and walked in, we signed in with he clerk and got ready to go to our rooms. Sydney got a conjoining room, so she just stepped into my room.

"I'm going to get going" I told Sydney, putting my stake in my boots and pulling my hair down to hide my face, she nodded and said "Good Luck"

"I don't need luck" I smirked before slipping out of the door.

I left the Motel and started walking down the Familiar streets. I knew this area very well, I've killed hundreds of Strigoi here. They wait for Humans to leave the Motel then they attack. I shook the thought out of my head and focused on walking to the mall to check everything out. Sunrise would begin soon, so this was the perfect time.

While walking, I passed my recent Motel, the one with everyone in it. Reluctantly I couldn't fight my body while I walked to the window of the first room. There, I saw them.

I saw lissa, her hands in her golden locks and Christian trying to comfort. She was probably in pain as well, from the way I looked, I could still hear her reaching out to me but the more I focused on other things, the less I slipped in. Easy right? Well not really when the last living Drgaomir who is your best friend is in a place lurking with Strigoi. Then, not easy.

But looking at everyone, seeing Dimitri, his hair disheveled, looking tired, I couldn't help but think he was the most handsome man I'd ever seen. And he was, I felt my heart flutter at the thought of our days at the Academy, then the darkness attacks…

I closed my eyes, getting rid of the thoughts, but when I opened them back up, getting ready to leave my family behind, a scar-faced woman with blazing blue eyes stared at me through the window. _Tasha._

"Oh, ****"


	5. Chapter 5: Blue-Hazed Eyes

**Chapter 5: Blue-Hazed Eyes**

 **Hey guys! I'm back and** _ **will**_ **update more as I have a new computer, so my updates will (Hopefully) be more frequent. Anyhow, Happy New Year!**

 **Today's song is…**

 **Heavy in your arms;**

 **I was a heavy heart to carry. My beloved was weighed down. My arms around his neck. My fingered laced to crown. I was a heavy heart to carry. My feet dragged across the ground. And he took me to the river Where he slowly let me drown…**

DPOV:

With a familiar hollow feeling beginning low at my chest-heartache-I went to open the doors to allow the Princess and Christian in. We hadn't had time to put up wards so, they wouldn't be allowed anywhere without guardians.

Guardians exited the limo and made their way around the perimeter-on the lookout-while others went to the mall opening, to look out for our "threat". Little do they know, that threat is the one and only Rosemarie Hathaway, also with her sassy ness I wouldn't give a second thought that some may find her as one.

"Hello, Princess" I greeted Vasilissa. "God, Dimitri, how many times must I tell you? Call me Lissa" she argued to which I nodded my head and smiled. She always repeatedly mentioned this to me, but I never really stood by it.

"Yes, of course" I replied, talking my place beside her, while walking her in. "How was the ride, pri- Lissa" I finished, using the "right" term.

As we were walking in, I heard a quick gasp and some tumbling, but before my guardian duties may kick in, Lissa screamed.

"Rose!?" Lissa squeaked, instinctively my hope grew thicker, but my heart felt hollower at the mention of her. But, my question, why was she mentioning her?

"Lissa?" Christian asked, trying to pull her out of a trance she seemed to be in, by lightly shaking her shoulders making her blonde curls dance in the force of his shakes. Her eyes were locked open as in shock, and she looked terrified.

"Oh my God." She said before she shocked look calmed to one of worry and she came back to reality. She blinked a couple of times, before looking me straight in the eyes and said,

"The bond. It's back"

With that I practically fell to my knees.

"OK, explain to me, what do you mean?" I asked, pacing the small Motel room we had booked to be "incognito". After Lissa's big confession we moved our location to the room. And currently, we were all practically harassing Lissa with questions, she wouldn't answer us though, not until we were somewhere private.

"Ok," she started while she sat down "When I walked into the Motel, I don't know what happened, but this shooting pain appeared in my head and then… I heard her." I didn't want to get my hopes up, hearing her. I knew Rose was here, I knew she was alive. But the bond? That's a whole different scenario.

"Her.. as in?" I piped in,

"As in… Rose, I heard her voice talking.. to _me_ " and with that, everyone gasped

"What-what do you mean?" I asked

"I heard her… she said something like 'please don't' or 'stop' it was her voice. No matter what" lissa stopped, tears gathering in her eyes before continuing "I would never forget her voice. And then in my head I answered her. And we talked. I keep reaching to her, but no reply." She finished,

"So… Rose, she's ok?" I asked, finding my voice.

"Yes, Dimitri. Rose is ok" she continued.

"Oh god" I let out a shaky breath as tears gathered in my eyes and my hands found there way running through my hair.

"Well, now what are you going to do?" Tasha asked, seeming annoyed. She had been quiet for a while, and to be honest, I didn't care to look at her or pay any attention. All of my attention and mindset was on the one girl I loved. The one girl I will always love.

"Well, as Princess, I demand a search for her, no matter what." Lissa chipped in

"Of course, Princess"

"Don't use that tone Dimitri, I know how much you want this too" she said, walked over to ne, taking my hands in hers before whispering to me "We'll find her and bring her home. We can fix this," 

"Let's hope so" I finished, hugging her.

*Line Break*

The rest of night, we hung out, waiting for a reply from Rose, but we got nothing. Although, up until we all decided to call it a night, Tasha had been acting.. Suspicious. Asking all these random questions, she seemed jealous. But of what, I didn't know. _I know_ her feelings toward me, but what did she want me to do? I never really had Rose, right when me and her would get what we wanted, out happiness, I got turned. Tasha had also seemed to be hiding something from all of us, and I know I'm not the only one noticing.

When we did-finally-make it to bed, I got comfortable on the floor as us guardians must sleep here while the Royals go ahead and sleep on the beds, only a few hours into our slumber I heard my phone go off. And then, the other guardian, and more and more.

"What the- "one of the guardians-guardian sul-asked but I quickly went up to answer the phone before any more complaints may be registered.

"Hello, Guardian Belikov Speaking" I answered

"Hello, Belikov, I have some… news" Hans replied. Hans. Oh this is big.

"Go"

"OK, we have a report, by the mall again" he said and then continued "And… there's been an accident, wish Rose" I gasped, and everyone awake looked my way.

"Continue"

"With footage, it was confirmed, Rosemarie Hathaway was there, on a killing spree or something else, and there was a reported call-which the Alchemists monitored-of a scream and banging. Then they were called down and her body was found, unconscious" I felt my heart. Shutter and beat faster with each word he said, but all I could reply was "Is she okay?"

"Belikov, she is… Alive. From our predictions she wasn't expecting these Strigoi, although she did kill them"

"Where is she now?"

"She's currently in the nearest hospital, so I guess that leaves the 'investagation' complete-"

"What hospital?" I cut him off,

"The hospital of Great Lakes" he finished, and I immediately hung up and googled it. All the while everyones bugging and asking what's wrong but I continued and with my information the hospital was only about 4 miles away, and a 15-minute ride.

When I looked back up I was met with many curious eyes, _especially_ a pair of blue-hazed that had been suspicious all night. So, I explained to them what was happening, and my plan.

My plan was to go to her. See Rose. Because knowing how easily it would be to see her, made my heart ache for her to be in my arms.

"Well, then what are we waiting for?"

 **RPOV:**

The beat of a familiar pop song hummed in the background as I gained consciousness and control of my body

"Dimitri, I'm sure it'll be fine" I heard one voice say. _Dimitri?_ No, no, no. What happened? All I remembered was seeing Tasha's threatening eyes and the ambulance sirens going off and then-

And then being admitted to the hospital, where they would call court. The realization of it all dawned on me. Where was I?

I'm too afraid to open my eyes, to see where I am. Or was it all a dream? Am I in the car with Sydney and I had fallen asleep? Did she turn on the radio to please me?

Just then, a speed bump passed and the whole car shook, causing my eyes to flip open at shock of the speed bump. But as I opened them, I was facing my right, and from where I was sitting I could see some very long legs and familiar smell of aftershave.

"Rose?" the voice called to me, and as I looked up, where I was becoming clear.

"Well, hello there comrade;"

 **Did you like it?! I have sooo many ideas for this story and I finally, have the ending and middle and everything planned out! I'm even thinking about having a sequel… this story should only be about 20 chapters, I'll be surprised if it passed that!**

 **Follow my Instagram xxmelwardxx**

 **Happy New Year and sorry for any grammatical errors ;\**


	6. Chapter 6: To New Beginnings

Chapter 6: To new beginnings

 **I KNOW THERES A LOT OF GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IM SORRY!**

 **I'm so happy and relieved to see so many of you enjoyed my last chapter! I love reading reviews and comments they inspire me to write more! So, here I am. I know this chapter is kind of short but I'm trying to shorten the pace here lol. Hope you enjoy! Today's song is…**

 **Silence; Marshmello &Khalid**

 **I found peace in your violence**

 **Can't tell me there's no point in trying**

 **I'm at one, I've been quiet for so long…**

 **DPOV:  
**

"Dimitri, it's ok, we're here" Lissa tried to calm me down. I pacing around the waiting room, sweating. I was nervous, relieved, and hopeful to see Rose again. After all these years, of knowing she was gone. All these years of believing she wasn't alive or near I will finally see her again.

But what I was really nervous about was, how does she feel about me? I broke her heart, said the most hurtful words. But most of all, I wanted to ask, why did she leave? Why did she leave Lissa… _me?_

Words couldn't describe how much my soul ached for her, or the few months after her disappearance when I realized, it was her I needed for my soul healing. How much it hurt to stand and breath. But how breathtaking it was, to see my soul come back together at the thought of her.

It may not have been her that helped me through, but it was the essence of her that helped me get through. One thing I will never tell, is how I kept and looked and gauged at the picture from the Halloween contest of me and her. How I made sure I had gotten a copy. It was the only thing we or I, really had of hers and showed any kind of relationship. The only thing left of hers for me…

"Belikov, Dragomir, you may come in now, although I will say she is unconscious, but you may come in" A blonde short nurse came out to announce. But at the same time, both me and Vasilissa got up.

"You can go first" I offered her, pointing at the door and she nodded, eyes holding tears and walked in. No matter how much I wanted to see her, I knew Lissa needed this time alone… and I needed more time to think.

 **LPOV:  
**

I walked up to the door, nervous. Worried. Excited.

Rose. I will get to see her again. See her beautiful face, see her long curly locks that we all teased her to cut. See her smile… how much I would kill to hear her laugh again. How much I would kill or do just to talk to her.

These past few years had been very harsh and hurting. Living without her, it was like living without my soul. Just a body wandering around, always trying to occupy my mind by doing different things.

Recently, I had started helping out at the clinic for Spirit. It was sa way to keep busy on magic. But I also always attended royal meetings… trying to start a talk about _anything._

Get my mind off the hurt I felt when Rose left. Because I missed my best friend soo much. She meant the world to me, even if I didn't show it much or even appreciate it much. I want this to be a new beginning, a new kind of hope. I want to help her.

But most importantly, I was ready to focus on her. God, I barely payed any attention to her, barely focused on her, meanwhile she sacrificed everything for me, It really makes me wonder, am I just as bad as the other royals?

Walking into the room, I could hear the beating of a monitor and can see many IV's hanging and guardians.

But none of that was my focus, no, my focus was on Rose. How Rose was sitting on the bed, limp and scratched up. Hooked up with air and in a Hospital gowns.

I walked up to her, pushing her hair out of her face, causing her to stir a little but not wake, and at the touch and sight of her caused tears to start dripping down my face, and before I knew it-I was sobbing,

I leaned down, next to the hospital bed and cried, mumbling and sobbing apologies, apologies for how everything turned out. Apologizing for her feelings like she had to leave, making her feel unwanted and unneeded.

"I'm so, I'm so sorry Rose. I'm sorry this happened... I… I love you" I spit out and let everything out, trying to keep quiet, until eventually I quieted down, and cleaned myself up.

I placed a kiss on her forehead and repeated "You'll always be my sister, Rose" before leaving allowing Dimitri to come in, leaving my best friend. Already getting court ready for her.

 **Did you like it!? So, yes. I am splitting Lissa, Dimitri, and Christians, even Tasha's meetings into different chapters, so next chapter will be Dimitri's and then present time will begin. Hope you enjoyed this short chapter, this week I'm posting twice!**

 **Follow my Instagram xxmelwardxx**

 **Follow my bookstagram melsaestheticbooks**


	7. Chapter 7: I Missed You

**Chapter 7: I missed you**

 **Hey guys! So, one of my resolutions this year was to update my story more and work on my writing skills! So, I will be trying to post twice a week! Hopefully you enjoy this chapter, again, it's kind of short, but next chapter will be present time!**

 **I KNOW LOTS OF GRAMMATICAL ISSUES**

 **DPOV:  
**

After about 30, impatient minutes, Lissa emerged from the door. Cheeks stained with tears and eyes bloodshot. She nodded toward the door and mouthed 'Go' so I did.

I hadn't expected her to be asleep, so I worried. But it turned out I could save my worry and banter for later…

When I walked into the room I was greeted by guardians and met by the familiar beating of a heart on the machine and the smell of… well hospital. I walked into the door, passed through the curtains circling the door and walked hazily until I saw her.

Her hair was a bit disheveled, but it didn't make a difference. She was still as beautiful as the first day I met her. She was covered in a few scratches and she looked… tired. Which is surprising as she is sleeping.

I kneel down beside the hospital bed on the right side and take her hand in mine, she starts stirring and making noises, but I rubbed random shapes across her palm and this seemed to calm her. I then went ahead to kiss each of her knuckles, savoring the feel of her soft skin against mine.

Looking at her now, seeing her safe was as if the whole in my heart was gone. Healed. As if it was never there. And all of my worries just became a buzz in the back of my mind as I looked at her beautiful face. I just wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let her go.

I then sat at the edge of the bed, holding her hand, I sang her a song my mother used to sing to me when I was little in Russian "Все будет хорошо, любовь моя. Не нужно беспокоиться. Завтра солнце будет светить так ярко, что вы сможете справиться со своими заботами ..." (translation: It will be okay, my love. No need to worry. The sun will shine so bright tomorrow, so you may get through your worries...)

My voice soon faded away as I got lost in the thought of her here with me…

 **SPOV: (Sydney point of view)**

"Rose!?" I yelled, in our conjoined Motel rooms. I had just woken up form the couch, phone dead, and Rose nowhere to be seen. I had been looking and asking around if anyone had seen Rose… and had a charger.

When I finally received a charger, I plugged my phone in, impatiently waiting for the apple logo to appear. Where was she? I wouldn't be surprised if Rose left to another mission but usually she would alert me first, or come back.

When the logo finally appeared I quickly opened up my phone to see several calls from her, and several. First, I called her back, only for her phone to go straight to voicemail. Now I was nervous.

I opened my emails, and read about 5 stating the newest news about the Moroi. One being an attack of Strigoi near the mall and case closed. _Oh no._ Rose was supposed to be at the mall. The case was her case!

"Ohh, no, no, no!" I quickly went forward and packed my bag before heading out in the car to get going. The Alchemists could be coming here to stay, to see the damage, and I'm not supposed to be anywhere near here.

Once I hopped into my Honda my phone began ringing, hope it was rose I answered it without a fuss. Only to find it to be Adrian.

"Hey, Sage. Um, where's Rose!?" Adrian squeaked in the phone

"I- I don't know, she went out on a mission and then she was gone"

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes, but Rose-"

"I know, sage. I know"

 **DPOV:  
**

When I finally emerged, I found Lissa in the waiting room, with Christian by her side who wasn't here earlier-he was with Tasha who wanted to go, shopping-and they looked ready to go.

"Ready to bring her home?" Lissa asked

"What do you mean?" I asked, very confused

"We're taking her back to court" she finished, a happy smile and tears appearing. At that I smiled.

"Can you talk to her, in your head?" I wondered out loud, at this, Lissa nodded before talking,

"I've tried, but its like she doesn't hear me or can't reply, but I feel she's there"

I nodded and at that, Lissa called Guardians to escort Rose to the car, where I was allowed the honor to sit in one of the Vans with her as-reluctantly-Tasha sat in the other van with Lissa and Christian.

The ride was only about an hour and a half, but halfway through, my phone rang and the driver handed me my phone which was charging.

"Hello?" I asked

"Hey, is she awake?" Lissa's hopeful voice asked, and at that I went and looked at her, what I'd been doing for the whole ride, remembering every part of her, the curve of her lips and shape of her nose and softness of her skin,

"Um... no." I finished

"ok, well, don't worry"

"I know" I said and we ended the call.

And then, beside me, rose's figure looked up.

"Well, hello their Comrade"

Oh,

 **Well, there's another chapter done and dusted. Hope you enjoyed!**

 **Follow, my Instagram xxmelwardxx**


	8. Chapter 8: Hello Again

Chapter 8: Hello Again

 **Hey guys! So sorry I** **haven't** **updated, as you can** **see** **I have taken a break and had some writers block... but** **I'm** **back and ready and to make up for it** **I'll** **be trying to post twice this week. I've had a lot of testing and things to do but I can't wait to get back to writing! I know this chapter's kind of short but next chapter will be** _ **the**_ **chapter with everything revealed so just wait and see. For some reason I had such a hard time writing them re-uniting, sorry if its bad. Next chapter some things will go down so** **let's** **see!**

 **This chapter's song is…**

 **Someone to you: The banners**

 **I just wanna be somebody too someone, oh**

 **I wanna be somebody to someone, oh**

 **I never had nobody and no road home**

 **I wanna be somebody to someone…**

RPOV:  
"Well, hello their comrade." I tried saying with confidence but once the words left my mouth my eyes locked with his. Such intensity I couldn't look away. He always had this effect on me, able to make me boneless with one look. If looks could kill.

I stared at him, stared at his beautiful warm chocolate brown eyes, the ones I'd stared into many times before; including mine. I want to say something so bad, so many things. But if I said those right now, things won't go well.

"Rose." He breathed, looking me up and down. Checking me out the way I was moments before. "How-" he tried to say but I interrupted him, "Don't. Where are we going" I cut him, trying to put on my hard face, I can't let him see me vulnerable. Not anymore. If she catches me, I'm done fore, Lissa is done for. Everything. I just hoped where ever we're going, she won't.

"Uhm, court" he stated, looking into my eyes. "No," I screamed, then covering my mouth. I _can't_ go to court. No doubt Tasha will be there, everyone will be there, wondering _Where has the miraculous and flamboyant Rosemarie Hathaway been the past few years?_ I couldn't have that.

"Lissa, Christian, and Tasha are in the van behind us, and we should arrive to court shortly." He croaked out, looking out the widow but I can see his eyes glistening no doubt his vision getting blurry. Hot tears sprang to my own eyes. The thought of Lissa, I missed her so much. Just the thought of seeing her smile and her jade green eyes again. The thought of being close to her again makes my heart ache. Even Christian, _I even missed Sparky!_

"Is Lissa- How- how is she?" I said, fighting the tears. Then, Dimitri met my eyes, admiring me a second before replying "She's good, but you know, you're going to have to explain everything. No way you're getting out of this, Rose." He finished, and I looked away. I leaned against the door and looked out the window just as we were arriving to the gates of Court "I know…"

- _5 minutes later-_

Once we were checked in-with weird faces from the gate working guardians-the driver headed for the Dragomir wing. This is it. I'll see them again.

As Lissa is royal, she got checked in and inside court first so she was already in her home. I got out of the car before Dimitri could come around and open my door for me like the polite Russian he was. I just stalked up to the door and as I was about to knock- I stopped. I don't know what held me in that position but I couldn't bring myself to knock.

"You do know, to get someone to answer you have to knock right?" Dimitri came up behind me, and went to knock on the door. "I swear, If you don't shut-" I couldn't finished because not even a second after he knocked, the door flung open to reveal Lissa.

Lissa and her golden locked glory ran up to me and tackled me to the ground, hugging me so tight I couldn't breathe but I hugged her right back. Tears springing in both of our eyes. When did I get so dang emotional?

"Rose I- I missed you so much" she cried into me, and with that I hugged her harder. We were both practically sobbing into each other's arms, letting everything out.

"Why did you leave me Rose? Why" she cried out, her grip on me loosening as more tears were revealed and she was hugging herself. I felt so guilty, why did I leave? Why couldn't I just be strong? Face Tasha?

"I'm so, so sorry" I cried into her, hugging her harder, never wanting to let her go. I missed her so much. I missed her voice, her big heart, I missed-

"Whats going on out here-"Christian came from out of the house stopping dead in his tracks when he noticed me. Then he did the least expected.

"Oh my god, ROSE!" he ran up to me, hugging me. Which I gladly hugged him back. Feeling loved and comfortable for the first time in a while. I smiled weakly, taking in everyone's embraces. Everything was going good until _she_ came outside.

I visibly gulped, which earned me a few, weird stares from Lissa and Christian. "Welcome back, Rosemarie" Tasha said, a devilish grin on her face. This. Cannot. Be. Happening.

-few minutes later-

They had all rushed me inside and practically pushed me onto the couch then threw some pizza and a brownie in my face for me to eat. I smiled, feeling bubbly inside that they still remembered what I liked.

"So.. Can you tell us what happened?" Dimitri said out loud out of nowhere, breaking the comfortable silence we were in. I looked at Tasha worriedly as she shook her head, clenching her jaw.

"Can't say" I finished, which only pushed Lissa forward "Rose, please, it's the least you could do." She gave me some puppy dog eyes.

I wish I could tell them, I really wanted to. I know what I did. I know how much pain I left them in. Leaving without a trace, without _closure._ And I just hoped that someday I will become somebody to them again.

"I- I really can't Liss." I said, bringing in my old nickname. "Why not?" she pushed again, begging me. "Because" I finished, looking away. "No! no 'because' you don't get to do that Rose. You left us here with no answers and I want them. _Please"_ she begged, raising her voice. I shook my head, and with that, she flew out of the living room.

This is really unlike Lissa, but, was anything really normal anymore? I don't blame her for getting mad at me-im mad at myself-but I wont deny that it didn't hurt. I just wanted to talk to them, see how they are doing before I knew reality will catch up-no, Tasha will catch up.

"My parents" I yelped, I wanted to see them, so so bad, even my mom.

"Janine and Abe are here at court but attending things and should come over soon" Christian said, before continuing "I should probably go check on Lissa." And then he left. Which left me, Dimitri, and Tasha.

"I'm going to go get something to drink, anything Rose?" Dimitri asked, being a gentleman as always. I shook my head, and he left. Which left Tasha and me. Ohhh boooyyyy.

"So, little girl, how's it been? Running? How's the darkness been huh?" Tasha taunted, coming closer to me.

"Fine, thank you very much" I said sarcastically.

"You think you can get away with everything, a perfect charmer. Well guess what, you're not. You won't have my Dimka wrapped around your little finger again"

"And if I do?" I taunted

She laughed, "Oh, you know what I'll do."

I gulped.

 **DPOV:  
**

I walked into the kitchen where Lissa and Christian stood.

"What are we going to do about Rose?" Lissa said, meeting my eyes as I walked in.

"I- I don't know, shes as stubborn as they get and probably won't tell us anything, at least for a while." I knew Rose, and I knew she was hiding something, and something seemed off once Tasha came. I just know it.

"Yes, well, that's Rose" Lissa smiled, looking down. "At least, we have her back. She's here and alive" she repeated as I nodded and got something to drink and heading back out there, not trying to seem suspicious. But before I opened the door I heard some of the conversation.

"Watch it little girl" Tasha hissed, and I heard a slap.

I burst through the door to see Rose's check red and Tasha just sitting back down into her seat of the couch.

"What's going on?"

Rose met my eyes and gulped once again. What was happening? She seemed… scared. And I wanted nothing more than to run to her and comfort her.


	9. Chapter 9: The Truth

**Chapter 9: The Truth**

 ***Bloodlines Spoiler* and *sorry its short* and *sorry for grammatical errors, please don't write it in the reviews… I know I'm working on it!**

 **Here I am again! Back to my somewhat normal schedule. You know, it hurts writing my fanfiction, this is because I'm sad and brokenhearted over the truth and everything so writing this out hurts – which is why this probably sucks and not the big "WOW" but, hope you like it… todays song is…**

 **Game of Survival : Ruelle**

Who's in your shadows?  
Who's ready to play?  
Are we the hunters?  
Or are we the prey?  
There's no surrender  
And there's no escape  
Are we the hunters?  
Or are we the prey?

This is a wild game of survival  
This is a wild game of survival

…

 _Previously on Love fades, mine didn't…_

 _"Watch it little girl" Tasha hissed, and I heard a slap._

 _I burst through the door to see Rose's check red and Tasha just sitting back down into her seat of the couch._

 _"What's going on?"_

 _Rose met my eyes and gulped once again. What was happening? She seemed… scared. And I wanted nothing more than to run to her and comfort her._

 **RPOV:**

"You know, it's funny. Seeing the miraculous amazing Rosemarie Hathaway- supposed greatest guardian, killed two Strigoi before graduation. Hey, even the girl who got with her mentor!" Tasha laughed before continuing, "It truly, is hilarious. Your scared, of who? Me? A Moroi, you coward. Go ahead, go fly back into Dimitri's arms, oh but you know for a fact what will happen, eh?" she laughed again, bringing back all the old memories of that one day…

 _ **-4 years earlier-**_

 _"I've given up on you" he said, voice almost soft "Love fades, mine has" I stared at him in disbelief. No, no, no! He can't not after everything._

 _Tears welled up in my eyes, at that, I saw a flash of regret in his eyes, but I wouldn't know what was going to happen next… because I ran out of the church doors before everyone could see me cry._

 _I ran-fast-all the way across court trying to reach a place where no one would be. All the while thinking of what he said. 'Love fades, mine has' and 'I've given up on you' this couldn't be real._

 _No. He cant give up on me, not the only person who truly knows what I've been through. Not the only person who I had through everything. Not the only person who believed in me and helped me like no one else. He was the only person who ever believed and stood by me through everything. When Mason died, my darkness, he was my everything._

 _He couldn't just throw this away, after everything I went through to help him. To save him from the life of an undead creature. I broke my biggest enemy out of jail, I sacrificed my life. For him. By the time I found an area with no one around-it was a little forest in the back of court-I let the tears flow. My knees buckled under me and my body started shaking as tears fell through my eyes. Through the bond I could feel Lissa annoyed with me; asking why I had bothered him. That caused even more tears to flow. I thought I was alone; until a shape stepped into my vision. And threw my blurred vision I could tell it was Tasha. But before I could react, my wrists were burning "Listen to me very carefully or else-"_

" _What in the world do you think you're doing- ahh! Stop!" I screamed, as the pain of my burning wrists increased, the heat overwhelming._

" _I told you listen to me!" Tasha yelled back, seemingly annoyed._

" _What do you want?!" I gritted out_

" _Easy, stay away from Dimitri or else I'll do things unimaginable"_

" _To hades with that! Your full of-"_

 _She burnt my wrists more, and laughed... She_ actually _laughed._

" _Listen, Rosemarie, I'm just going to get to the point" she said casually before continuing "Dimka, is mine. Period. And you_ will _stay away from him."_

" _And why would I do that?" I hissed_

" _Because of what I'm about to do" she smiled_

" _What-"_

 _She cut me off, she came up to me, looking me straight in the eyes and said in Latin "et hoc animus est componere immortuos et faciam voluntatem eius infuriating ulla mors animae illius auferet mordere, sed numquam inmortuos ex prohibere venire" (_ _ **Translation: take this soul and combine with undead, any death infuriating her will shall cause her soul to bite away, but never stop the undead from coming)**_

 _Once those words left her mouth, I felt a tinge in my chest, and my mood quickly became glum (not that it wasn't already) and I looked away… something changed. And I'm very confused._

" _Oh, your probably very confused. Of course, let me do the honor of explaining." She said, then continued "Your soul is combined with Strigoi, every kill shall cause your darkness increase. But the Strigoi will never stop coming Rose, never. Especially after Vasilissa" she laughed._

" _You son of a- AH!" I screamed in agony again as my whole left arms caught on fire but as quickly as it appeared it was gone._

" _Watch your mouth, Hathaway. I can very easily set Vasilissa into flames if you make any move on Dimka, and nobody will expect its me, I mean, I'm Christians aunt who's with Vasilissa. And don't think about struggling, I can very well cast another spell with much more power, something worst for Vasilissa, heck, maybe even Dimka. Anything to keep you away from him" she let out a devilish laugh once again._

" _What are you?" I managed to say, body trembling_

" _Oh honey, I'm a witch, and no, not the old lady with moles kind" she finished. What a pity, she fit the part of an old, wacky, mole faced witch._

 _But with this, somehow, I believed her. After what she said something changed in my demeanor and I could fell it. And I know one thing, I had to get out of here. She wasn't right in the head._

" _Oh, Hathaway, I know what you're feeling. I made sure the spell made sure you really know what I can do to do" she laughed again. Phsyco._

 _She then came up to me, looked me straight in the eyes and repeated "You will go back to your room, gather your things, and leave. Never look back if you know what's good for you" and I felt a tingly feeling, compulsion! But I couldn't fight this off, it was strangely strong._

 _With that, I ran away, away from Tasha and unintentionally in my room packing my bags and leaving, without another word or contact with anyone._

- **Present Time-**

I felt chills up my spine, just at the thought of everything. But little did I know of my adventures after all that. I never talked to anyone again- until now, of course. That's when I met Sydney, wait- SYDNEY! I have to call her, let her know I'm okay.

But Tasha's witchcraft or whatever worked. I had this unending need to kill any Strigoi coming my way, but it hurt. After every kill I felt sorrow and it's like I could feel a piece of my soul being ripped away. Outside, I was fine. A machine, a killer. But inside? I was dying. I needed the feeling of love, or warmth. It was like a cold black rainy day with unending sadness inside of me. It hurt but when I saw Lissa again and everything… it helped, a lot.

I knew though, that I had to go. I had no doubt Tasha would try something, but my only hope was that someone else will notice somethings off and help me.

"Are you even listening" Tasha raised her voice, coming closer to me. Huh, I guess I zoned out.

"Listen little girl" Tasha hissed, and then slapped me. I gasped, feeling the hot swollenness of my cheek.

That's when my Russian, once love came in, yelling,

"What happened?!"

I gulped.

Get yourself out of this one Tasha.

 **Ahh, hope you guys enjoyed! The secrets out… Whats going to happen? I decided to upload this chapter quick, so everyone has this figured out the truth while I go ahead and pre-write some chapters… sorry for grammatical errors!**

 **-And if you don't know what the bloodlines spoiler is then good, its not spoiled If you haven't read.**

 **-Follow my Instagram xxmelwardxx and my youtube (same as Instagram,) and my bookstagram melsaestheticbooks**

 **-Review welcome and are inspiring!**


	10. Chapter 10: Do you Promise to Love me?

**Chapter 10: Do you promise to love me?**

 **I just wanted to say something that has really been bugging me, so get ready for a long author note…**

 **I just dislike-no hate it!-when people repeatedly comment on grammar mistakes or how grammar is an issue. You want to know why this annoys me? This is because as a fanfiction author, we work hard, we write, and everything to put out entertainment for YOU! For FREE. So, it is very rude to comment things like that, I am very sorry, but I have things to do other than writing and don't always have times to read over my chapter. It's completely unfair when people say such things.**

 **Also, I've been getting many reviews/pm asking why Rose is so scared or telling me to have her stand up to Tasha, ROSE has been through a lot, Tasha's a witch, she used compulsion on Rose all of which worked. So, Rose is scared, she never heard of a Moroi doing all.**

 **Sorry for long caption… todays song is…**

 **Someone to stay; Vancouver Sleep Clinic**

 _You were alone, left out in the cold,_

 _clinging to the ruin of your broken home._

 _Too lost and hurting to carry your load,_

 _we all need someone to hold…_

* * *

 **DPOV:**

I walked up to Tasha, and as I did so, she smiled.

"Oh Dimka!" -she exclaimed- "Rose had a smudge of lipstick on her face so I went ahead and helped her fix it, but… I tripped" Tasha said, nodding toward words, and once they made eye contact, Rose nodded.

Does she think I'm dumb? Think I'm slow? Because I am so not falling for that. But instead of saying any of that I replied with "Okay..." and I moved on to sit on the couch next to Rose. I can then see her visibly stiffen and look at Tasha. Ok, this is weird.

 **RPOV:**

When Dimitri sat next to me, I stiffened. Tasha shot me a look and I shot her one back saying 'What do you want me to do?'

We sat in awkward silence for a while until someone called me through the bond.

' _Rose?' Lissa called to me through the bond (_ _ **A/N bond talking starting now, Rose talking will be surrounded with " and Liss talking will be surrounded by ')**_

" _Yes?"_

' _Talk to me.'_

 _I didn't answer._

' _Please?'_

 _I didn't answer._

' _Rose!?'_

" _God Lissa, STOP!" I screamed, becoming annoyed, tired, and fighting tears. It's been a long day and I wanted nothing more than to lay down._

' _Rose? Please.'_

" _Where am I staying while everyone forces me here?"_

' _There's a room down the hallway from the walkway' she reluctantly answered_

" _ok."_

I got up from the couch, walking toward that direction. Once there, I slammed the door shut. I laid onto the bed, done. I just wanted to go to sleep, and forget about everything. But, of course, my brain didn't let me. I mind wondered off to Dimitri, and the academy. Which only brought back old heartache and I was trying my best to keep my feelings for him closed in, and never to be opened.

I gave up on sleep and decided to look around. The room was very elegant, decorated by a light green and white theme. The curtains looked very royal, but the bed sheets were divine. Very comfy. I got up, and walked over to the window, and looked out to the sunrise. Everyone would be going to bed soon, then I'll be alone.

But, when I looked up at the wall, I saw a picture. It was Lissa and I, on Halloween when we both dressed as fairies. And that's when the tears flowed. With shaky hand, I went to touch the picture, hot tears coming down my cheeks. Old memories and feelings came up and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I missed everything back then, before the raid of the attack at the academy. Me and Dimitri's feelings were under control, and Lissa was seemingly fine. But of course, nothing works out as planned for me.

With a dry throat and a sudden need of water-still teary eyed-I listened through my door and made sure I heard no noise, a sign everyone left or went to bed. I also found out that Tasha was staying the night, another reason why I can't sleep.

Feeling it was safe, I sniffled back my tears, and opened my door. I quickly made my way to the kitchen and picked up a bottle of water and opened it. Through the sunlight of the curtains I was able to see around the house. I walked to the living room drinking water. But I stopped mid-drink when I saw Lissa and Christians wedding photos. More tears welled in my eyes, but more came when I saw an ultrasound picture, of a baby boy. On it, it read "R.I.P Andrei Dragomir Ozera" and that's when I dropped my water and squeaked out a cry.

I missed so much. I let everybody down. I missed her wedding, her baby-who's gone-I wasn't there for here and my darkness, that I could feel taking over me wasn't helping. I cried some more until I couldn't breathe I screamed a little, and at that, someone emerged from the hallway. "Rose?" I could tell from his accent that it was without a doubt, Dimitri.

He ran over to me, on the floor, and kneeled down to look at me in the eyes. "Roza, what happened?" oh, and that name made more tears stream down.

"N-nothing. I-II-I'm fine" I stuttered out, "But you're not" said Dimitri, pushing a piece of hair away from my face behind my ears.

"Please, tell me what happened Milaya" and I don't know why, or what it is about him, that closed door opened and more tears came down. But without a doubt, I told him what was happening because even after all of these years apart, I trusted him with my life.

"J-just looking around and seeing everything I missed, and seeing-" I stopped, trying to breathe then continuing "and you, today, a lot happened and a lot of feelings came bursting out" I said, meeting his eyes again before letting out a loud shaky breath, holding myself "and the darkness" I cried, more tears coming down my face. "It's all too much. It hurts, unexplainable pain constantly. I just want it to go away" I said, squishing my eyes and using my sleeve to wipe away my tears from my now stained cheek.

"Shh, it's ok" Dimitri said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to his chest. It was as if nothing had ever changed with us. No matter what he was there, but I knew for sure if Tasha suspected anything I would have to leave. The though of leaving caused my whole body to shake with fear. I couldn't leave, not again. But I knew I had to, I had to protect Lissa.

He hugged me harder whispering sweet nothings. When I calmed down, he looked me in the eyes, and asked, "Why'd you leave?" tears glistening in his eyes. I wanted to tell him so badly, let out everything that's wrong. Have him protect me. But I couldn't.

"I-I can't say, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for hurting you" I said, more tears coming. "No, no, Roza, I hurt you." He said, causing me to smile. My heart fluttered a little. "Just, please, don't leave me again" he whispered, meeting my eyes with tears. "I-I can't promise that" I said, looking away. He grabbed my chin and made me look at him "Rose, you and Tasha, why are you so scared?" I looked away at his accusation.

"Can you promise me something?" I said, ignoring him. I know I might not have earned the right to ask him of this but I needed this, he nodded. "Can you promise to love me? Even after everything, even if I leave, I just, I want to be somebody to everyone again, I want to be my old self-" Dimitri cut me off but putting his pointer finger to my lips silencing me. "I promise Rose" he said. I nodded and this perfect un-real moment came to an end when I heard Tasha's voice "What's going on-" and I ran. Fast. I zoomed back to my room quietly shutting the door behind me.

In my room, I wiped my tears and am trying to make of what just happened, did that actually happen?

Exhausted of everything, I fell asleep on the bed.

* * *

When I woke up, I had a terrible headache.

' _Rose, I sense you're awake. I put a fresh pair of jeans and shirt and some necessities for you to shower and get dressed…' Lissa said, and I internally thanked her, I wanted and needed a shower. My only hope was that I'd come out feeling new._

I opened my door to make my way to the bathroom when Tasha walked into my path,

"What happened last night? Huh?"

 **Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Sorry it's short, but next week my Instagram and fanfiction will be back to normal… hopefully!**


	11. Chapter 11: Scars need Time to Heal

**Chapter 11: Scars need time to heal.**

 **Hey guys, sorry for not posting... I really have no excuse but school. But I'll try to post again in a few days, have an amazing day!**

 **Todays song is…**

 _Previously…_

When I woke up, I had a terrible headache.

' _Rose, I sense you're awake. I put a fresh pair of jeans and shirt and some necessities for you to shower and get dressed…' Lissa said, and I internally thanked her, I wanted and needed a shower. My only hope was that I'd come out feeling new._

I opened my door to make my way to the bathroom when Tasha walked into my path,

"What happened last night? Huh?"

 **RPOV:**

Ugh. Not her again. It was to early for this.

I turned around and met her eyes, "Yes, Tasha?"

"Oh, don't act all innocent; I know last night you were talking to my Dimka" Her dimka? Did she own him? Last time I checked – she didn't.

"Don't make that face. I saw how you were all over Dimitri all night. Don't lie." She stated, and I looked in her with wide eyes, wow. She really was crazy.

"You really are a lunatic. I barely even made eye _contact_ with him because of you." I hissed, and then I got slapped again... Great. You know, I was really getting tired of Tasha and tired of being afraid and running. But there was nothing I could do because I wasn't trying to get my insides burned out of me and I'd be damned if anyone I loved had to have that happen.

"Watch it Rose, your voice is your strongest power but also your greatest weakness." And then she walked away.

I sighed, walking into the bathroom closing the door (locking it) and put the towel down. I looked into the mirror and didn't see who I expected to see.

I didn't see Rosemarie Hathaway, the fearless and bravado attitude. The person who never ran but yelled and scream and fought until her last breath. Who I saw was a coward, a coward afraid and I hated it. I felt tears build it (dang, I really did not want to cry again) and forced them down. I was doing this for Lissa…. For _Dimitri._

 _But why was I doing it for them? What did Lissa ever do for me? It's her fault I'm all caught up in this situation, I hate-_

I stopped my road of thoughts before the darkness really hit. I've been taking Lissa's darkness subconsciously now. Without a second thought. But it was starting to take its toll on me, I mean, last nights events should say enough.

I jumped into the shower, the thoughts of last night continuing. What did last night mean for me and Dimitri? He promised he wouldn't leave- but did I have a right to hold him to that promise? I mean, I left him. But for the first time in a while- I felt cared for. I felt the comfort from contact and my heart felt like it was going to explode. But then of course, Tasha had to ruin it. Ruin my one moment of happiness and I know very well Dimitri now had many questions.

I hated being vulnerable, able to have a weakness. I always thought I was invincible but I wasn't. I had a rock-hard shell but a soft inside and I kept those two things from colliding. But last night- it broke. My resolve broke and I cried and cried. This is all Tasha's fault and being back in court isn't helping,

I mean, first problem is that everyone most likely hates me. Hates me for leaving a sudden and want answers that I just- cant give.

Then, I have seeing everyone and how much I missed everyone, how much I missed being around all of my friends, how safe it felt in Dimitris arms…

I started scrubbing harder with the rag until my skin was raw and then decided that it was probably time to get out. '

I got out of the shower- soaking wet- and threw on the outfit Lissa had given me. And It was bigger than my current size which was understandable. As since I left I had lost a few pounds- thanks to always being on the run, but Sydney- oh god. Sydney. I need to call her. Like. Now.

I quickly brushed my hair and walked out. I walked straight to my room searching for my phone, when I couldn't find it I resorted to the bond.

 **(A/N bond talk is just like normal talk just in italics)**

" _Lissa, do you know where my phones is?" I asked, and I got a reply very quickly._

" _yes, its out here Rose." She said, knowing very well what game she was playing._

 _She was playing the- you want it? Come get it. And I was not in the mood._

I opened my bedroom door and made my way to where I could sense Lissa. And there she was, perched up on the couch holding my phone, wearing a satisfied smile.

I ran to her and picked up my phone and dialed Sydney's number.

"Who are you calling?" she asked curiously

"A friend."

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._

"Hello? Rose?"

"Sydney." I greeted, getting ready for the yelling.

"Oh my god Rose- Where have you been? I was told not to worry but- you never came back and you-"she started rambling which I laughed at and at that Lissa looked at me surprised.

"I'm fine… I'm at court."

"Oh?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, how's it going there?"

I sighed, "Well you know, getting to see all of these old faces and such, then you know about…" I stopped short realizing Lissa was there.

"Oh, let me go. We'll talk later. Love you Rose!"

"Love you too, Sydney." I smiled before closing the call.

 **LPOV:**

Rose laughed, like actually laughed. I hadn't heard her laugh in a while and it warmed my heart. While she continued her phone call, I began to wonder who was on the other line. Who was she talking to.

But, then it hit me. Her friend. Her new friend… I forgot she'd probably created a life out there… in the real world. Without us. And that made my heart shatter.

 **Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I know I loved writing it. Sorry for grammatical error issues,**

 **Follow my Instagram xxmelwardxx**


	12. Chapter 12: Darkness Attack

**Chapter 12: Darkness Attack**

 **Hey guys! I know this chapter is pretty soon but I've had some free time so I decided whenever I finish a chapter I'm just going to post it.**

 **Also! I know I forgot song of the chapter last week… sorry.**

 **-I have another story out called, Kindling the Fire, and it's VA related and I'm super excited about it so please check it out!  
Anyywayy, song of the chapter is… drum roll please…**

 **Secret Love Song – Little Mix**

We keep behind closed doors  
Every time I see you, I die a little more  
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls  
It'll never be enough  
As you drive me to my house  
I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down  
You and I both have to hide  
On the outside where I can't be yours and you  
Can't be mine  
But I know this  
We got a love that is homeless

 **-quick storytime- I used to listen to this song starting from blood promise and all the way through bloodlines and just- everytime I listen to this song my feels go out of control and I cry. It's so beautiful and so Romitri and Sydrian.**

 **Anyway, cheers to another chapter!**

 **RPOV:  
**

Once I ended the phone call, I looked at Liss and she looked sad. I then checked the bond and found out why.

She was jealous, confused, sad, and most of all felt regret. Regret for not trying to find me sooner. She felt as if she had been replaced and not needed. But she also felt some anger toward me, for "replacing her"

"Liss…" I started, but she cut me off.

"forget it, I have to go to the hospital"

"What!?" I asked, instantly checking her body for any injury.

"Oh no. Not for me. Some guardians were attacked and need to be healed… so I'm on my way" she chuckled a little, and then sighed. "You're parents will come tonight for dinner… I guess just hang here today." She trailed off.

"Also, there's guardians guarding the door and perimeter. You're not leaving again." Then she left.

Well great. Just what I wanted. To be stuck in court, with Tasha breathing down my neck about leaving and an ex-lover, and on top of that, Lissa's going to heal.

This should be fun.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Ok. I was really bored. I kept listening to the clock's chimes. There was literally nothing to do that interested. What interested me was going out and killing some Strigoi. Leaving court so a Moroi that got dropped on the floor one too many times as a baby won't burn me from the insides out, same for Lissa.

I was sitting in the room Lissa supplied for me, staring at the ceiling. I had been trying to be calm and not let my thoughts race, especially after how much darkness I just took from Lissa. She had just healed those guardians and the spirit from it took a big toll. By heal, I thought Lissa meant like a few scratches and sprained ankle. But nope. She meant heal the guys two broken arms and concussion.

I felt my body shaking and could feel the darkness boiling. I just had to make sure I kept it in check, I really didn't need Tasha to see me weak.

Getting up to use the bathroom, I heard it flush. _Shoot._ And then Christian walked out. Wait- he was here the whole time?

"Hey, sparky. Were you here the whole time?" I asked, tapping his shoulder.

"No, Rose. I was in Canada" He replied smirking. I just ignored him and continued to the bathroom when I was met with a disgusting smell.

"Who freaking died in here?" I yelled, making sure he heard me. And sure, enough he replied,

"Shut it Rosie Posie"

Soon enough Lissa came back. And It was almost time for dinner. Great. So far today I have solved zero of my problems and I would be seeing Dimitri soon. He had left early today for a shift and Tasha- I don't know where she is.

"Rose" Lissa knocked on my door, bringing me out of thought.

"Huh"

"You know, when your parents come… they may want answers"

"And I may not want to answer them" I replied.

"Rose… just tell us" Lissa begged

"I said No! is that so hard to understand princess?" I snapped, the Darkness coming up.

" _Rose… no need to get all angry…" she said through the bond._

" _Actually, yes reason because I just sucked a butt load of darkness from you and I'm not in the mood"_

She sighed, and then left me alone.

 _Knock, knock, knock._

"Rose, everyone's here. Come out."

I inhaled deeply, then let out a shaky breath. I felt lightheaded. My parents, I was going to see them. And have everyone staring at me at once, and without a doubt Tasha.

I opened my door and walked down the hall. And once I made it to the dining room, I was met with both Abe and my mom running to me and wrapping they're arms around me.

"Kiz… oh my god" my father said

"Rose…" my mother said with a shaky voice.

I was so surprised that at first, I didn't return the hug. This was weird… my mom being so intimate and showing emotion, same with my father. But eventually, the shock wore off and I hugged them back. As tight as I could. Wanting to hold onto this moment as long as I could. Holding my parents and feeling loved and… happy. Even if it was just for a second.

They let go of me, and stared at me for a second.

"Umm. well, let's sit down." They both mumbled before returning to they're seats. I then went to sit down, noticing there was only one open seat. And it was between Tasha and Lissa. Great. Dimitri was also on the other side of the table. No surprise. Tasha wouldn't let me near him anyway.

I sat down, and was immediately met with a glare from Tasha, and smile from Lissa. Once I sat down we all were quiet in uncomfortable silence.

"Soo…" I said, trying to break the silence. Then it all started at once.

"From in front of me I had my mom ask "I want answers Rosemarie. Now. Where were you?" then from Lissa, "Rose, tell us." And my father "You're not leaving until you tell us." And Christian, even Christian "Rose, we want to know." I felt my anger boiling. Couldn't they just leave me alone?! I told them, I cant tell them. Is that so hard to understand? They're all so blind and ungrateful. Sure, they don't know my situation, but if they really knew me they should know somethings up.

"Rose."

"Rose."

"Answer Rose."

"You can't hide forever"

"We have a right to know why you left"

"You _have_ to tell us, you left without a call or text."

"You put yourself in this situation, just-"

"I don't have to do anything!" I screamed, everything, the darkness, coming out full force.

"I don't have to tell you guys anything. It's my choice not to tell you and I've said this repeatedly. Are you guys deaf? Retarted? Can you not understand simple things? God. You guys really don't know me well because if you did you wouldn't be harassing me. You wouldn't have taken so long to notice I was gone. You guys have _no right_ to ask me any questions. It's not all my fault. Have you ever gotton down your high horse and maybe asked, maybe its my fault?" I yelled, running out of breath shaking, then I continued, "and you Lissa- don't get me started!" I finished, having a sudden need for bloodlust.

"Rosemarie Hathaway-"my mother said, but I cut her off. "Don't, Rose me." I finished, and then left the table, running into my room.

Once in, I wanted to smash everything. But not wanting to break anything I choose the pillows. I punched them, threw them, stomped on them. When that didn't relieve my bloodlust I punched my hand into the wall, causing my hand to bleed and get scratched up.

I was so angry, I felt lightheaded. But as soon as it had started, it stopped. The bloodlust, the anger, it was gone. I slid down onto the floor, and let the tears flow.

When did my life get so messed up? When, just- when did everything go so out of hand? Why couldn't Tasha just leave me alone and accept that Dimitri doesn't love her?

 _Knock._

Someone knocked on my door, not feeling like having company I ignored it.

"Roza, I know you're there. Let me in"

 **cLiFfHaNgEr. Dun dun dun! What's going to happen next?**

 **-Hope you enjoyed, sorry for the grammatical errors and sorry if this chapters bad…**

 **Have a beautiful day!**


	13. Chapter 13: Walking The Line

Chapter 13: Walking the Line

 **Hey guys! So sorry for not posting, I've been trying. I've been trying to set up the world in my other one so ya… I'll try to post as often as possible! And throughout the next three weeks I have training for my standardized tests then my testing season begins so im sorry if I don't update, I probably won't be inspired. And I hate writing uninspired, Anyway, enjoy!**

 **RPOV:  
**

"Rose, it's me"

Looking down, I ignored him.

"Rose"

Ignore.

"Rose."

Ignore.

'Roza-"

"Can you not take the message? I'm ignoring you for a reason" I sighed.

"Yes, but you can't forever. I want to talk to you."

"And I don't want to talk to you"

"Please-"

"Jus-Just go Dimitri."

And soon enough, I heard footsteps creeping away from the door until they were gone. I then let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding.

Tonight was… climatic. I just didn't want to think about the consequences I would be getting from Tasha. God, sometimes I wondered, why is she doing this to me? Wouldn't it be easier to just kill me?

And every time I ask myself this, I always know the answer. She wants me to suffer. And indeed I am.

It isn't just physical pain she's putting me through, no. It's mainly emotional. And emotional pain is the worst kind of pain. I get to stay here, watching my family smile and the yearning to smile and be with them is so strong but I can't because then they will get hurt.

But also, the pain of seeing the only person I've ever loved and not being able to be with him. It hurt so much. But I also had the pain of cowardness. I felt as if my true self was locked behind cells, screaming and thrashing to come out. I wanted to own up. I don't want this life.

Which is why I came to this conclusion- for however longer I was going to be here I was going to test my limits. Trying out the waters and really see how far Tasha would go.

"Let's do this."

I was sitting in my room, legs crossed rubbing my head. My head was pounding, and my darkness was threatening. Lissa had just helped a few newcomers who had gotten attacked. I don't think she really understood the side effects- especially since I was taking them all.

It was about a week since my… commotion and everybody seemed to be keeping they're distance-thankfully-but every once a while when I would actually come out of the room Tasha was quickly latch onto Dimitri, smiling and laughing. It made my heart actually rip in half and didn't do anything to help my anger.

Now, I know many people may be asking why I haven't escaped or tried to leave again, as I am Rose Hathaway. I just, can't. As the days go on more and more news about me spread and more people find out that I'm here and as told, the lookout for me is on.

Oh, and did I mention how it's time to pick new queens or kings? Ahh yes well it is. And Lissa was… what, nominated? And since then she's been running around like a chicken with its head cut off. It's been chaotic to say the least.

Every day I feel worse than the last, every day I feel more alone than the last and it's sad. At dinner every time I try to engage I get a look from Tasha that says "You'll shut up if you know what's good for you"

But tonight, that was going to change. Completely. Tonight, I will engage, I will talk, and will be apart. I will ignore Tasha's glares and test my limits. I want to see how far she'll go with everyone around, see what I can and can't do. Because I'm so tired of this.

Soon enough, people burst through the door. But it wasn't just our usual crowd of Lissa, Christian, Tasha and Dimitri. It had all those people, and Adrian and Eddie. I felt my heart sink and become even more broken if that's even possible.

I had to stop myself from running into Adrian's arms, I hadn't seen him since I got here and I missed him so much. But when our eyes met, he offered me a warm smile.

But Eddie, wow. I hadn't seen him in forever, and he looked so… grown. He looked grown, but that wasn't it. He looked torn, looking at his eyes I saw somebody who has been suffering and I couldn't help but think that was my fault. I mean, I was all he really had. He had Mason, but then he left. And then he had me, and I left.

When he looked up, and his eyes met mine, He ran to me, picked me up and hugged me, swung me around. Holding me so very tight.

"God Rose, I missed you" He breathed when he finally put me down. And I could see tears welling up in his eyes. I nodded my head.

"I know, Eddie. I missed you too"

Like that, though, our moment was over as Tasha walked in, oblivious to what had just happened between me and Eddie.

When _she_ caught my eye, her hand latched onto Dimitri's forearm and yelled throwing her head back, "Ooh Dimka! You're so funny" squinting my nose, I looked away in disgust.

" _Rose! You're not invisible you know? You're hurting her feelings" Lissa said through the bond disapprovingly._

" _Oh yea? Since when do you worry about feelings? You sure didn't worry about mine last night" I sent back sharply through the bond._

" _You know very well that all I want is a reason for you leaving. I never got an explanation" she said, seeming exhausted_

" _Lissa, how many times do I have to tell you? I can't tell you or-"_

I stopped myself. All this time, I have been worried to tell anyone about my situation because Tasha may over hear. But, I forgot. The Bond. Wow. I could go anywhere, seem distracted and talk to Lissa about what's been happening.

For once in a long time- hope hit. I felt hope of being able to tell someone and get help. Because Tasha doesn't know the bond's both ways now, does she? She couldn't. And this just made me one step ahead of her.

" _Okay, okay Lissa. Do you trust me?" I asked, frantic._

" _Of course,"_

" _Okay. Later today I'm going to tell you something that may seem unbelievable but please, keep an open mind"_

"… _Okay" she said, and I smiled inside. Okay. I'm going to say it. Finally, after all these years I'll be able to open up to her._

"Dinner's ready." Pyro yelled, coming back from the kitchen.

Soon enough, everyone was in the Dining room.

And ironically-and definitely unplanned-Dimitri ended up sitting right next to me on my right and Tasha across. A scowl on her face. Let the games begin.

Once all the food was served, and conversation was buzzing the only people who weren't in a conversation was me, Dimitri, and Tasha.

Leaning over, putting my hand on Dimitri's forearm-replicating Tasha's stance from before-I started fake laughing,

" _Ohh,_ Dimitri remember that time I forgot my clothes in the gym? And had to out in just my towel!"

I saw her face turn red, boiling.

Then I felt a small spark of heat start at my shoulders and get hotter by the second.

What can I say? Let the games begin…

 **Hope you enjoyed! I won't be active on her or my Instagram for a bit… sorry. I just hate writing uninspired. Also sorry for the grammatical errors I have no beta and barely have enough time just to write this chapter. Anyway, have an amazing day!**


	14. Chapter 14: Take Me Away Darkness

**Chapter 14:**

 **XxMelwardxx**

 **Love Fades, mine didn't**

 **C**

 **Well… to make a really long story short? Life. But, I'm back… enjoy this super short chapter but I'll be updating again this Sunday/Saturday ;)**

 **-read my ending chapter note for an announcement**

Last chapter:

Leaning over, putting my hand on Dimitri's forearm-replicating Tasha's stance from before-I started fake laughing,

" _OH, Dimitri remember that time I forgot my clothes in the gym? And I had to go out in just my towel?"_

 _I saw her face turn red, boiling._

 _Then I felt a small spark of heat start at my shoulder and get hotter by the second_

 _What can I say? Let the games begin…_

Chapter Thirteen-

Oh, how did the games begin, I had continued to taunt Tasha with the inklings of Dimitri and me. I taunted her with the memories me and Dimitri had shared, and of course many had been dramatized which caused Dimitri to give me a few confused looks-and boy did it make her angry. It also made everyone else very confused about my attitude.

"Oh!" I said, swallowing my full mouth of food and pointing my fork around, "I just remembered- picture this: Me, sunny, sweaty, hot day, running laps training with Dimitri" I forcibly laughed "Ha! Crazy, really was"

As I finished, I could see Dimitri cock his head toward me, raising his eyebrows, questioning me with his eyes. Seemed as if he were saying "Rose, what are you doing?"

Ignoring him, I was going to continue until I felt one of the worst pains in my life, something I didn't think was possible... I felt a spike of heat in my head. I yelped,

"Oop-"

Everyones heads cocked in my direction, giving me confused expressions... guess I was loud.

"Rose what happened?" asked Lissa, seemingly worried.

"Oh, uhm, nothing just the food was hot-"

"It was? Actually it seemed kind of cold to me-"

Just then, the oven timer went off. Can you say saved by the bell?

"I'll go get it" Christian said, before leaving the room.

I wanted to keep this game of mine going, it gave me a sort of power. A power over Tasha, making her loose control for once. It may be confusing, its confusing to me, but I got satisfaction of the frown on Tasha's face getting deeper and deeper...

Just then, we heard a scream... and luckily it wasn't a blood scurching scream of danger, it was the girly scream of Christian Ozera.

"God Dang it! Someone help!" he screamed, and everyone-including me-ran toward the voice, with Lissa in the lead she slammed open the door just to hit Christian flat in the face with the door causing him to fall to the ground.

Lissa screamed, reaching down to him. He seemed unconcious, very odd.

Looking around, I quickly drew conclusions to what had happened...

While getting whatever had been in the oven he burned his hand, yelled for help and while making his way out Lissa slammed him in the face with the door, knocking him out.

And before I knew it, Lissa was leaning over him, healing him. Without warning, the darkness busted into me.

Oh boy was it bad, my darkness had been building up without me being able to get rid of it, and the pit of the strigoi charm sitting by itself was boiling and now this... I was afraid it was going to happen... but I was too late, it already happened...

My brown eyes, they turned black. The darkness became too overwhealming and my body shut into darkness, having to get away I ran to the bathroom closing the door I couldn't let anyone see me like this, it may make them afraid. It's scary, these situations

Looking down, I could see my hands shaking, looking in the mirror I could see just how dark my eyes are. And before I could stop it, I screamed, punched a wall and knocked out, unrelieved of the darkness.

 **Want more? Review! I'm getting back into writing since school is basically done and I'm ready for weekly updates! I also have hand written one shots I will be posting, and in that fanfic I'll allow one-shot requests!**

 **-Now, for my announcement, I don't write this story for the plot, I write to help my writing skills and to show my love for this book series…**

 **Have a wonderful say :)**


	15. Chapter 15: They're Coming

Chapter 15

XxMelwardxX

Love Fades, Mine Didn't

Here's another chapter…. I've been very excited to write because it feels like a turning point to me. Like, everything is spilling out. Anyway, have a nice read and day.

I woke up, not much later; probably 5 minutes later, to knocking on the door. Groning, I stood up. I felt so pent up, I wanted to punch something. Looking to my right, I could see where I punched the wall. Oops.

Looking up into the mirror, I could see that my eyes were still black, and depending on the way I was feeling I knew that my black eyes won't go away until I let go of all this pent up energy. This has only happened two times before, both when I had been taking the darkness from Lissa but those times were much worse because I had also been killing Strigoi left and right then.

I was too busy staring at my reflection in the mirror I kind of blocked out the knocking on the door. Annoyed, I opened the door a little too rough and looked down as I approached the knocker who, to my surprise, was Lissa.

"Rose, what happened? Are you okay?" She asked, worried.

I'm not sure why, but what she had just told me sparked some deep anger. The anger I didn't know I had. Maybe it was from the darkness, but the darkness only amplifies the thought. And for some reason, I couldn't hold it in. I couldn't hold anything in… I needed to let it out.

"Oh? Now you're worried about me?! How about when after everything I went through to save Dimitri? How about when I was heartbroken? How about when I just wanted you my best friend to be with me when I felt like I couldn't last any longer, and yet you choose him over me. What about then Liss, huh!" I yelled, and everyone seemed to look stunned, maybe it was because of my outburst or the fact that I made eye contact and they could so clearly see my black eyes.

"Rose, y-you're eyes" Christian shuddered. Ignoring him, I gave him the finger and ran as fast as I could to my "room" and attempted to throw on some sneakers, but I was rudely interrupted by guess who? Dimitri freaking Belikov.

"Roza, I think you need to calm down-"

"Don't you "Roza" me. You have no right to talk to me, no right to be by me after all you did. You have no right, not one bit, to come here and try to "comfort me" after your whole 'love fades, mine has' Bull." I screamed, "You can't just assume that everything is okay, just because I confided in you!"

"Rose, I know the darkness may be a little hard right now-"

"Stop!" I yelled once again, "You don't know anything," I said through clenched teeth and then ran out of the room, shoving him out of the way.

And as if my day wasn't already horrible, I came face to face with Tasha. Knowing how angry I was, and knowing it was partly her fault, Tasha was smirking. Before I knew what I was doing, I smacked her across her face.

"Get rid of that smirk Natasha, it doesn't go well with your scar"

and then I left the house and started running as fast as I could. And got as far as I could from the royal quarters.

10 minutes later…

My legs burned, and I knew for a fact that I'd be sore tomorrow, and my chest felt heavy. It was getting hard to breathe. I had just arrived at the corner of court, the edge of the wards, and made it to the field where my life really went downhill. Where Tasha had set that charm. Of me, causing death to be right by my side.

I stopped running and just fell to the ground. The darkness felt as if it was fading, and I knew that my eyes would be returning to their natural color very soon. I felt very relaxed, having the wind blowing on me.

I didn't know how dinner would go, but I definitely didn't expect it to go this badly. Sighing I let my head fall back into my hands. God, my life really sucked. I just saw my parents for the first time in forever, and I acted like a complete slut in front of them, and completely disregarded them. No matter how lonely they made me feel at times, I still loved them.

My burst out at Lissa was uncalled for, and I would usually blame it on the spirit, but I really couldn't. I've always felt this hatred toward her ever since Dimitri returned… but I never owned up to it. And seeing her now just amplified these feelings. I was confused, I loved her but couldn't stand her at the same time. She hurt me in so many ways I couldn't stand her being worried about me.

Then there's Dimitri…. Who was the main reason for my problems. I loved him, but just like with Lissa it hurt. I know he would never get with Lissa. But the fact that he saw her as his savior completely broke me and was my turning point. Him saying 'Love Fades, Mine Didn't' just pushed me to leave. I felt like nothing would ever get better… and then I found a way to turn him back. And unlike the way I imagined it to go, him being thankful and us being able to actually be together, it went the exact opposite way… leading me to a dark hole. My life was a mess.

Wiping away tears off my cheeks that I hadn't realized fallen, I went to stand up and get going. But not before a piece of paper landing right at my feet. Curious, I leaned down to pick it up and see what was on it. Bad decision.

It read…

I can see that the mighty old Hathaway is back.

Well, be careful my dear.

Life isn't what it always seems. It will get darker then it may seem

So watch out.

We're coming back for revenge

You took your turn ruining my life and ruining her plans.

Time for us to ruin yours…

Forever, VD and SK

Gasping, I knew exactly who this was from… and I just hoped this wasn't what I thought it to be. I quickly ran back to the royal quarters and slammed open the door to Lissa's area, everyone looked startled and before they could say anything I interrupted them…

"Here. Read."

I handed it to the group, and they all read it. Confused expressions on they're faces.

"Rose… what is this…" they all asked. Sighing, I replied with the inevitable…

"If I'm correct, It's a threat letter from Victor Dashkov, he's planning an attack on the court."

 **So… what do you guys think of this new plot? What should Rose do? Should she forgive Dimitri? Is Tasha apart of this? Let me know!**


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